herein is an account of what transpired whilst on holiday on martha's vineyard

It fades in like a dream - hazy yet slowly falling into sharper focus...
A horrible , bewildering, [somewhat] sexually ambiguous, ice cream-headache-inducing vision of pink, flowers, lace, and all thing girly.
I am, in fact, [apparently] a little girl.

What happened you ask? I got
Didn't catch that? Here it is again:
100%, full-on, is-this-really-happening?, full-tilt, oh-my-gawd, holy shit, D-O-M-I-N-A-T-E-D.

Genius. No other way to describe my colleagues.

Please to be noting the details, the craftsmanship:Even got mentioned in the morning meeting it did, as the #1 IntelliDyne attraction.

Good work I say, good work indeed.

And many thanks.

nrg (4/27-30) - part the second

Wherein Porter did reveal himself to be a veritable [moderate] climbing God...

Mother H(B)en makes a mean breakfast. Ain't no better way to wake up than bacon and eggs - especially if someone else is making them.

The objective for today is Endless Wall and the many moderates of the Star Trek wall. This also means the Fern Point ladders - which I was excited to show everyone.

Until Bruce managed to ruin the whole thing.

You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

Bruce had laid down a gas attack that, with nowhere else to go, settled atop Ben and Porter like a pungent fog.

It's a cool descent though, and everyone is charged up as we make our way down. I suggest we head upstream a bit as I know of a cool 5.7 that's quality and close by - someone should definitely do it.

We make our way to Seventh Seal where Porter volunteers to have at it. Some thin moves mark the start but Porter is more than up to the challenge.

He runs up the easy middle section before the layback crux and then fires that too with a minimum of fuss.
It's a great off-the-couch lead for him and his joy knows no bounds. The entirety of the NRG hears his whoop.

And the fact that he can see a waterfall across the way.

And that it [the waterfall] is beautiful.

Ben shows some real grace and follows quickly.

Alas, but his grace is unfortunately, and quickly, marred by a less than smooth swing 'round the rap tree and subsequent dislodging of a rock that nearly beans Bruce.

We pack up and head over to the Star Trek wall which is unfortunately plugged up by a guided party led by none other than the General, Kurt Smith. See ya next week at Senenca's Cinco de Mayo party.

A bit more walking brings us to Beech, Beech, Beech - a pitch I'd done many years ago and I remembered as being not that bad.

I was a little wrong.
It's Bruce's lead and the first bit is fun enough - but the upper part of the pitch is slick, flaring, and awkward. Bruce does a fine job of leading it though. After seconding, I confessed that perhaps my memory was a bit cloudy and that I may have rapped off the slings at the 1/2 point before the nastiness - it's been a few years. Porter has a go as well and then we wander 'round the corner to A Wild Hair for Ben's first NRG lead.

Ben has a good crack at it including a few short falls at the crux before handing the cord over to Porter...
...who then proceeds to swarm up the bottom, places a few pieces to back up the committing layback above, and then just flies up the thing. Another whoop of delight and we have our hero for the day.

We then make our way to the mega-classic Ritz Cracker - which starts with a laser cut crack that just begs to be climbed. This pitch is tailor-made for Bruce - and Porter, emboldened by his recent success, even volunteers to have a go at the crux 5.9 P2.

Bruce is completely in his element as he punches his way up to a thin, though solid, belay.

Porter is up next and raring to go at the thought of P2.

Until he sees it. Actually looks hard close up. Curious that. Some consulatation is had, brows are furrowed, (possibly some bowel loosening here too), and the general consensus is that discretion may be the better part of valor given the hour. Plus, there's a super-convenient escape ledge right there.

So I get a lap on it which helps turn around what was turning into a doubt-filled day, and then Ben roars up looking like "the butcher's dog" as he pulls into the belay.
It's been a solid day and we enjoy a pleasant hike out.

Beers back at the car round things off with a spectacular pasta/bread/wine dinner that leaves everyone sated and, well, more than a little drunk.

brief moments of brilliance punctuated by long periods of hangdogging

With unrequited calls for partnerage, Bruce and I ventured by our lonesomes to Seneca under threatening skies - arriving only to be assaulted by a fairly full parking lot.

Hoping for the best in terms of crowds, we ventured up Roy Gap with little fanfare and, at least on my part, a very conscious effort to make no mention of the goal of the day. We were both surprised and gratified to see that we were behind only one party on Skyline. After waiting not overly long, I headed up P1 in with my new Splitters, neatly, and thankfully, avoiding the usual CF at the traditional belay.

We had an opportunity to watch someone just fucking waltz up Dufty's Popoff before Bruce made short work of P2 on KC with the usual 3-piece assortment of gear. I motored on up and was soon there.

Below it.

The heretofore unmentioned goal of the day for Brian - Beesting Corner. A climb long-eyed and climbed by Bruce last fall. He assured me I had it in the bag.

I tried to get a little prepped and headed on up.

Place a piece, worry some, move tentatively. Wash, rinse, repeat.

I repeated the cycle to about the 1/2-point until I was so torqued (including one "oh fuck" moment where a stem past an overlap threw me off balance) that I eventually took a hang and then a lower off a .75 Camalot.

I sat at the belay for a bit, trying desperately not to fall into the well of self-doubt I could see right in front of me. I eventually worked my resolve back up and headed back up. Things went better this time. I felt a bit more at home and while the aforementioned cycle hadn't changed, the pace had - at one point Bruce was sure I was going to fire the rest of it in one go.

But alas my arms betrayed me. Seeing what I though to be burly exit moves, I took another hang on a #3 Camalot and tried to de-pump.

Bruce patiently held the other end of the cord. Eventually I got in some gear and fired the final moves with something I like to think was grace.

It wasn't the best style, but I'm certainly proud of the effort and my desire to stick it out. And a 1000 thanks to Bruce for encouraging me - couldn't have done it without him. Looking forward to doing it again w/o all the psychological baggage.

Having accomplished my goal for the day, I suggested we head up to the North Peak so Bruce could have a go at Rox Salt. This time rain was no problem and Bruce just walked the thing. He had the briefest of pauses with some awkward gear to start things off, and then just cruised the rest in no time at all. A great pitch and lead that was only marred by lowering into a tree - much to my delight.

I then headed up Roux, which, while offering easy climbing, was a bit of a sandbag on gear. Not hard, but a little DFU - certainly for a 5.3. It turned into a good pitch though, and I set the anchor so Bruce could tackle Bear's Delight.

He made short work of the odd beginning moves and worked nicely through the top (after some admonishment from me on stemming off the tree). The only downside to the pitch was the inconvenience of the belay that made it easier for Bruce to lower and me to clean on TR than to have both of us at the belay. From the top, we both had [individually] our first view of the South Peak from the North - a unique perspective to be sure. And gratifying as we saw parties at every conceivable belay station.

We rapped and headed down the East Face trail (much less of a hassle when it's not raining btw) and congratulated ourselves on 3 coups for the day.

1. No issues with crowds
2. Stayed cool and in the shade on an otherwise hot day
3. Four new pitches for one or both of us
   

Ben and Porter, you were missed.

nrg (4/27-30) - part the first

Wherein Bruce and Connors did venture forth and explore the Bridge Buttress and Bubba City...

66 West.
81 South.
64 West.
19 South. No, wait...North.

The Comfort Inn will do just fine. We're here and too tired to care.

Morning dawns an hour later than I thought and we stumble down to a surprisingly large continental breakfast. We stuff ourselves silly and decide that today's best bet will probably be Junkyard Wall - it offers Bruce's motivator, New Yosemite, and some other moderates including New River Gunks.

New River Gunks is at Junkyard? I coulda sworn it was at the Bridge Buttress. While it's been like nine years, I have a fairly vivid memory of being under the bridge. Ah well, Junkyard it is.

How do we get there?
I seem to remember it being this way.
Or perhaps not.
What does the map say?
No, you're right. It's not terribly helpful.
Perhaps... no, those are definitely no parking signs.
Damned if I know.
Perhaps now would be a good time to pretend like I've never been here either.
Why?
Because my memory is clearly not worth a shit.

Foiled by inobvious parking and possble trespassing issues we default to the Bridge Buttress. It has some moderates as well. Something to cut our teeth on, why right here in the guidebook there's a 5.6, Gunky Heaven....

And suddenly the clouds part and everything makes sense. That was the route I'd done before. My memory suddenly [somewhat] vindicated, I decide to take another run on up.

I mince up and down below the first roof for not too long before boldly (har, har) commiting to a series of very easy moves. The middle of the route goes easily and I'm soon below the second roof where I eye some rap webbing from some previous soul who couldn't or wouldn't move on. Unfortunately, because I've done this route before, I know it can be done and thus have no excuse to rap.

I go up and down, according to Bruce, "like a 1000 times," before commiting to some thin DFU moves to the top. The only thing that gets me up is the fact that I've done it before. Bruce, of course, waltzes up in a matter of minutes.

It's Bruce's turn now, and while Up to Disneyland (5.7) is in the range, it seems a little committing and the top inobvious. But Out to Lunch (5.8) while harder, offers what seems to be perfect hands and is thus the obvious choice for Bruce. An awkward start is followed by some tough jamming before a decent rest and the crux.

Bruce isn't wild about the pro but needs to get moving before he burns out. As he launches for the thank-god hold his feet cut out before latching on. And the climbing just doesn't let up. What looked to be 4th class from below, while ledgy, still has some difficult moves.

He finishes up fairly easily and I get brutalized by the crack coming up .
A proud lead to be sure.

My turn again and the corner of Barefoot Alley (5.8) looks good.

Things go swimmingly until the roof where the left exit seems hard, and is, moreover, plugged with gear, while the right, seemingly easier, leads nowhere. I eventually pull right and step back left and am now faced with a whole lotta nothing - inobvious moves and no gear.

Why does this always happen to me?
Screw pride and screw this.
Those thin trees offer at least something.

I sling 'em and move on up - glad to be on top. Bruce manages to pull through the roof in proper fashion and we head back down.

While the Bridge Buttress certainly offers more moderates, we decide to round off the day with a new locale in the form of Bubba City.

A lengthier drive than walk (apparently 82 is now one-way and we have to go all the way down to the river, back up the other side, and back across the bridge) brings us to, of all things, a 4-star 5.7 - Daisy Cutter. With accolades like that, how can we not climb it? It's Bruce's turn on point...

Hmm, interesting.
That was thin.
A chimney on a sport climb?

Well that sorta sucked.
4 stars my ass.
What the fuck do I do here?
And why the fuck is it bolted like that?
4 stars my ass.
Watch me.
That sucked.
Worst.
5.7.
Ever.

Bruce was less than enthralled. I'd planned on releading it, but after watching Bruce decided to go up on TR and offer a perhaps less-biased view of the climb. I mean it does have four stars after all.

Nope, it sucked alright.

With day dwindling and the fact that we still need to decide on our campsite, we decide to fit one more climb in at the nearby Beer Wall. We eventually settle on Near Beer (5.6) which offers, despite it's 1 star rating, substantially better climbing than Daisy Cutter. Bruce leads again (by this time I was fairly lethargic and falling into one of my "states") and I quickly follow.

The day done, we decide to camp at the low-key Mountain State campground, get some forgotten niceties (pillow, towel) from K-Mart, grab some mexican grub, and await the arrival of Porter and Ben.

Beers are downed by all below a starry night.